Deposits, Screening, and Why I Started Requiring It
The never ending discussion of deposits. Let's get into it.
If you've followed my work for a while, you probably know that I wasn't always a fan of deposits.
Matter of fact, I didn't require them until almost 16 years into my escorting career. So when clients tell me they don't like deposits, don't trust deposits, or don't understand deposits, I genuinely get it. I've stood on both sides of that fence. I know the flexibility that comes with operating without them. I know how easy it makes things for both the client and the provider.
I also know the security that comes with requiring them. And at this point in my career? Deposits win. Every time. But it wasn't always that way.
Ironically, the people who introduced me to deposits weren't escorts. They were foot fetish models. Years ago, I did a photoshoot with two gorgeous foot models out in Staten Island that mentioned requiring deposits. I was stunned. I remember thinking, "People actually send money before meeting you?" It had honestly never crossed my mind. At that point, I'd already been in the industry for nearly two decades and had been taught that I would have to operate a certain way if I wanted to make money. I believed nobody would want to send an escort money before meeting her. Like in what world?! But I started to realize, these foot models weren't targeting some clueless demographic of men. What I realized was that they had tapped into a clientele I didn't know existed. A clientele that didn't blink twice at securing someone's time. And for whatever reason, I thought that concept was above me. I thought deposits were for the women charging $500 minimums and refusing half hour appointments. Meanwhile I was charging $120 for a half hour and convinced that wasn't a world I belonged in.
Funny how wrong I was.
So eventually I dipped my toe in. I started requiring a tiny deposit for long-distance appointments. Ten dollars. That's it. The pushback was immediate. But so was the acceptance. So I experimented. Then I started asking for $10 deposits more regularly. Mostly for new clients and people I didn't see often.
Then one day a young guy booked me out on Long Island. When I arrived, I realized the address he'd given me wasn't actually where he intended to meet and there was a group of men sitting in a car outside the house he was trying to take me to. The situation felt wrong. Very wrong. So I drove off. I drove all the way home and remember thinking: "Ten dollars is stupid." Ten dollars didn't cover my time. It didn't cover my gas. It certainly didn't reflect the risk I had just taken. So I raised it. By a whole ten dollars. Twenty dollar deposits. As if that was going to change my life. Then it became thirty. Then forty. Then fifty. Today deposits start at a hundred bucks.
And ya know, something interesting happened along the way. The higher the deposits became, the less nonsense I dealt with. People showed up. Appointments were kept. Communication improved. Behavior changed. Clients became more intentional. And perhaps most importantly, both parties became more accountable. Once someone sends a deposit, there is suddenly a trail. An unofficial contract, so to speak. It holds me to my word because lord knows I could be flaky at times too. And it holds him to his. That digital footprint creates a level of accountability that simply doesn't exist otherwise.
And while clients often focus on the possibility of being scammed, providers are focused on something entirely different. Safety. When someone sends a deposit through Cash App, Venmo, or another traceable platform, it creates a record. If someone decides they want to harm me, stalk me, rob me, rape or kill me, there is at least some identifying information attached to them. Does that eliminate risk? Absolutely not. But it reduces it. And sometimes reducing risk is all we have.
Now, I completely understand that deposits aren't for everyone. I've had clients I'd seen for years stop booking me the moment I implemented them. Years. Gone. Because I asked for a deposit. And honestly? That's their right. Just like it's my right to require one.
What I don't understand is, contacting providers who clearly require deposits and then trying to negotiate your way around them. If deposits aren't your thing, don't book providers who require them. It's really that simple. Don't try to convince her to make an exception. Don't tell her you're different. Don't tell her you're not like other clients. Most of the time, those conversations have the opposite effect. The entitlement required to push a service provider's boundaries before you've even met doesn't make you seem trustworthy. It makes you seem unsafe. Because if you're testing limits before the appointment, what am I supposed to think will happen once we're alone and naked in a room together?
There are countless providers who don't require deposits. There are providers who don't require screening. There are providers who don't require IDs. There are providers whose business practices will align perfectly with what you're looking for. So why spend your energy trying to change the mind of someone who has already told you what she needs to feel comfortable? That behavior will always rub me the wrong way.
And while I understand your concerns about discretion, being caught by a spouse, or being scammed... those concerns do not outweigh the very scary realities providers face. Your fear of losing money is not greater than my fear of being harmed by someone I don't know. Those aren't equivalent risks. As harsh as it may sound, we hear every reason in the book. The wife. The bank statement. The bad experience. The scam. The exception. The special circumstance. And at some point, they all start sounding the same. The truth is, if you're consistently getting scammed, there's a good chance you're moving too fast. You're not slowing down enough to read between the lines. You're not researching. You're not paying attention. Because while there are certainly bad actors in this industry, there are also usually signs. Requests for full payment upfront. Ads that seem too good to be true. Rates that don't match the person being advertised. A complete lack of online presence. None of these things guarantee a scam, but they should encourage caution.
Which brings me back to where we started. I understand both sides. I understand why deposits feel uncomfortable. I understand why providers require them. But if a provider has clearly stated her screening process, her deposit policy, and her boundaries, respect them. You don't have to agree. You don't have to participate. You don't even have to book. Just thank her for her time and keep it pushing. Trust me, everyone will be happier for it.