"Do You Do Bare?”

Let’s start here.

I get it.

I absolutely love cum down my throat. I love being filled up and having my body painted with a nice, warm load. I love sucking and fucking raw dick. I don’t even watch X-rated videos if they’re using condoms.

So this is not coming from a place of judgment or pearl-clutching.

But this conversation always brings me back to something I’ve said before and will keep saying:

You must stay grounded in reality when booking.

Why asking “do you do bare?” is not smart

First of all, that question is incriminating as hell.

If there were a sting, and during your court hearing a judge read your text messages aloud; “do you do bare?” You’d be cringing from embarrassment. So would everyone else in that courtroom.

While escorting and paid companionship are legal in New York, the exchange of sexual services for money is not. Even talking about it can be considered solicitation. Nothing physical has to happen. The discussion alone can be enough.

On top of that, this question often reads like law enforcement fishing for evidence. I immediately flag messages that ask this. Not because I wouldn’t see you, but because I don’t know if you’re trying to build a case against my livelihood.

Straight up: asking over the phone or in writing isn’t smart.

And just so you know, many women who don’t offer uncovered services are genuinely offended by the question.

Your best bet is to read the fine print. Providers who offer this usually signal it somewhere in their ads. And NO, “GFE” does NOT automatically mean bare across the board.

Otherwise, wait until you’ve actually met and built rapport before asking for something that intimate.

Now let’s talk about the safety reality of this request

I once had a conversation in an NYC client escort group chat that I still think about often.

A man said he assumed sex workers were so diligent about their sexual health that he didn’t really have to worry about his own.

He didn’t say it exactly like that, but that was the underlying belief.

And that mindset doesn’t just show up when men book escorts. It shows up in how many men approach sexual health in general:
If they have no symptoms, and if no one has warned them about anything, they assume they’re fine and don’t bother getting tested.

Quite frankly, THAT'S INSANE!

Let me put this into perspective.

When I was working Monday through Friday, 10am–4pm, the number of bare requests I got per day was… a lot.

If I fuck and suck Tom raw on Monday and Tom unknowingly has an STI with zero symptoms. And then a week later I fuck and suck John raw, but I don’t feel symptoms until two weeks later… where does that leave Tom and John?

Where does that leave every other client who asked for raw in between?

Even if you and a sex worker exchanged negative test results, you’d both have to trust that from the moment you got tested until the moment you saw each other, neither of you had sex with anyone else.

And how realistic is that?

While the risk of contracting STIs from oral sex is lower, it is not zero. And many infections aren’t visible or immediately noticeable. No symptoms does not mean negative results.

In fact, about 50% of men with infections like chlamydia are asymptomatic carriers. No symptoms, or such mild ones they go unnoticed yet still completely transmissible.

There is no visible certainty. No sores doesn’t mean no infection. No discharge doesn’t mean no infection. None.

Let’s stop using the word “clean”

Have you noticed I haven’t used the word clean?

That’s intentional.

Calling someone “clean” implies that having an STI or STD makes a person dirty — and that stigma is part of why people avoid testing.

When people are scared of feeling dirty, ashamed, or judged, they hide. They rationalize. They say things like “she looked clean” instead of getting tested.

Most STIs are treatable. Others are manageable. People who have sex sometimes get STIs. That’s normal. That’s part of being an adult.

What is not part of being an adult is avoiding testing. Even if you have steady partners.

I can’t tell you how many men have said to me in session, “Well, I only have sex with my wife.”

Okayyyy, but just like your wife probably trusts you’re not seeing a sex worker on your lunch break, you probably trust her too.

Please stop putting your health, your body, your penis, and your mouth into the hands of people who are not medical professionals and GO GET TESTED. You can walk into any urgent care and get tested immediately.

So… should you ever ask a sex worker about bare?

Here’s where I’m going to be honest without shaming you.

A lot of providers will tell you never to ask and will shame you for even wanting it. While I don’t think it’s the safest thing to engage in, I’m not here to make you feel bad about your choices.

It’s also a service I offered when I was a survival worker trying to make rent and many providers still offer it. I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t exist or demand you stop wanting it.

What I am saying is:

• Stop asking over the phone or in writing

• Be prepared to pay significantly more

• Be prepared for her to say no

• Do not try to convince her otherwise

A no is a no. Period.

She may not offer bare with everyone. She may want to determine that in person. That’s her right.

Aftercare responsibility is on you

If you decide to engage in uncovered services, do not ask her afterward if she’s “clean.”

Anyone walking around with a positive result is not advertising it and they’re not suddenly going to disclose it after the deed is done.

Don’t make things awkward by expressing panic or anxiety after you’ve already participated.

Check your boxes beforehand. Or wrap it up.

Do not project shame onto her for choices you decided to make together.

Porn is not consent

Just because you saw her do something in a video with someone else does not make you entitled to it.

I once had someone tell me I shouldn’t make porn without condoms if I wasn’t willing to fuck all my clients raw.

The entitlement is wild. It sounds like a kindergartener mad they didn’t get their turn on the swing.

Also, be very cautious of ads that openly advertise “bbbj” or “uncovered services” in plain text. Many of those are stings designed to entrap you.

Again, your safest move is to take note of the ad and ask in person, if at all.

“But what if she doesn’t do what I want?”

That’s a risk you take.

This is an intimate service. She may need to adjust how she operates depending on the day, her body, or her comfort level.

Introduce yourself as a human before trying to fill her up with your load. Be kind. Be patient. Drop the entitlement.

And please, stop obsessing about how it’ll feel in latex.

Stay grounded. Stay realistic. Stay respectful.

It will go much further than you think.