So we’ve already gone over booking etiquette. Now it’s time to talk about what happens once the appointment is actually solidified.

Whether you’re booking a provider for the same day or planning something in advance, both can be nerve racking. It’s completely normal to feel nervous. Just try not to overthink things or project too much of that nervous energy onto the person you booked, because that can sometimes scare her away. A good reminder before your session: don’t start asking for photos, dirty talk, what she's into or extra conversation leading up to your appointment unless you’re compensating her for that time. Extra attention and engagement are still labor.

The best thing you can do before your session is review her ad or website carefully. Double check her rates, any requests she might have, and things like parking or location instructions. There is nothing worse than someone showing up short changed or confused about where to go, potentially making things “hot” when discretion is the whole point.

Read the Instructions... Seriously!

When I host incalls, I send carefully curated instructions explaining exactly where to go, what to expect, and what not to do when arriving. And yet there’s still about 25% of men who just choose not to read them. They wander the hotel lobby, ask the front desk for providers by their pseudonym, ring other people’s doorbells, stand in driveways, or start chatting with neighbors. Please don’t do that!. Make sure you’re clear on what to do when you arrive.

And if she’s coming to you, make sure you provide the same clarity for her. Let her know if people often get lost getting to your place, if parking is limited, or where exactly she should go when she arrives. Tell her if you have roommates or if anyone else might be around. Let her know if you have pets or if there are a lot of stairs especially if you’re requesting toys or lingerie with heels or massage or milking tables. Also mention if the session will happen somewhere other than the bedroom. Some providers have physical limitations, and small or low furniture can make certain positions difficult. Transparency helps her feel safe with you.

When She Arrives: Slow Down

When she arrives, give her a moment to settle in before immediately trying to tongue her down. This is especially important for new clients. Things may be more relaxed with someone you’ve seen regularly, but the first meeting still requires a moment to establish comfort. We know you’re excited and horny. But safety and comfort come before passion. Greet her at the door. Let her get comfortable. Offer her something to drink.

Also, Handle her rate immediately. Payment always takes place before the session. Prolonging this wont make the session last longer as her time starts the moment she arrives, not the moment she's paid. I'm old school in the way I prefer for payments to be placed some where visible and easy to access but some providers prefer to be directly handed her rate. Whatever you choose to do, Don’t make her ask for it. This is something you already agreed on. Once that's handled, a lot of tension disappears from the room and everyone can relax. You’re not delaying your pleasure by paying first, you’re actually getting to it faster. Envelopes aren't required but always a nice touch.

Same applies when you're arriving for an incall.

Wash Your Hands and Your Goddamn Ass

After payment, go wash your hands! You’ve just handled money and door handles. Nobody wants that contamination on their body or pussy. And trust me, we can absolutely tell when you skip this step. Your hands feel grimy dammit.

Now let’s talk about showers. If she asks you to take a shower, just do it. If she’s bringing it up, it isn’t a suggestion.

Surprise... We can also absolutely tell when you haven't showered! And many providers will flag you for it, ask you to leave, or just never see you again. But this has been such a running theme in sex work: clients refusing to clean themselves upon arrival. Some men literally turn the water on and never get in. Towel dry. Soap untouched. Skin salty. I’ve had grown men leave actual skid marks on sheets after claiming they just took a shower. No really. Most providers understand accidents happen. But to know you haven't washed after pooping or a full day of work, and claim cleanliness is a mental illness. Your parts aren't suitable for intimacy if you showered but also ate, took a shit, ran errands or were in your work pants all day. Fabrics hold scents and we can smell you. Same goes for dick cheese and urine. A lot of you forget to pull back the skin when washing or don't wipe after pee'ing and it's so very evident. It doesn't make you less manly to take time to clean your junk and poop shooter, it just makes you the smelly kid on the block.

I once showed a client the skid marks he left behind. His response was simply: “Ok.” So I wrote a report about him on a screening site. Months later he messaged me asking if I had “done something” because he couldn’t book anyone in the area. When I told him about the report I made on him, his response was: “I didn’t think it would matter that much.” If you thought it wasn't a big deal for someone to possibly smell your shit, engage in an intimate act with your dirty vessel, AND didn't bother offering an apology, then you aren't someone safe to session with. No literally, you're a biohazard for me and the clients to follow. So please, don’t be the funky, shitty ass client who refuses to shower because he did it hours ago.

For the love of everything holy: Wash your hands and your goddamn ass. Thoroughly.

Your Nails Matter

Also cut and clean your nails. I never want a man whose nails are almost as long as mine touching my parts.

I once worked an incall with a friend in Long Beach, Long Island while dog sitting for my mom's friend (yea, I'm terrible, I know). While my homegirl was with a client, she'd suddenly screamed something horrid. So I ran in ready to pounce. But it turned out he had just accidentally cut her labia with his long nail while attempting to finger her. Which can lead to infections and serious injuries.

Toenails matter too. An older client once cut the top of my foot with his long ass toenail that I had a weird C-shaped scar on my foot for months. Yikes!

So groom yourself beforehand. I’m far less concerned about manscaping than I am about dirt under your nails, you creating an open wound in my unmentionables, dick cheese under your hood, and the rancid smell from your butt. And don’t forget the balls. Spread your legs, wash the entire sack and surrounding area, and dry them properly. Damp balls have a smell that isn’t always pleasant. Also don’t spray cologne or rub oils directly on your dick. It’s unnecessary and can cause infections.

Privacy and Safety

• Leave your Meta glasses at home.

• Recording someone without permission is a massive violation of privacy, and sex workers are increasingly taking legal action against it.

• Don’t show up with a huge bag unless something specific was discussed beforehand. We literally think you are bringing tools to murder us.

• Leave your firearms at home. If you feel you need one, maybe reconsider why you’re going.

• Try not to use your phone during the session unless necessary. Many providers worry about being recorded or set up and minimizing phone use helps everyone relax.

Don’t Gossip About Other Providers

Don’t gossip about other providers you’ve seen, especially if we don’t have a rapport yet. We don’t care who charges more, who charges less, how someone else operates or how different or similar our bodies are. Unless we ask, freely offering that information does not earn you the brownie points you think it does.

Communication Makes Better Sessions

It’s completely okay to talk about what you like before diving in. The idea that we’re experts who will automatically take control can leave you unsatisfied. We might have experience in the sex industry, but we are not experts in intimacy with you. If you don’t communicate what you like, we default to generic movements. Being open and flexible can make the experience far more satisfying.

Consent Still Matters

Even during intense moments. Even when it feels awkward. Payment does not remove consent. It doesn’t give you the right to treat someone like a sex doll or ignore their boundaries. Sex workers can absolutely say no to something, even after payment. And if consent is something you struggle with, inside or outside of hiring a sex worker, I run a coaching business that helps men learn how to ask for what they want, hear “no” comfortably, and navigate intimacy with confidence. Feel free to reach out if you need any assistance with that.

Respect the Time and the Space

• For longer appointments, provide food or snacks and expect breaks. She’s a human being, not a machine.

• Don’t choke, smack, hit, or push someone unless it’s been clearly discussed and consented to beforehand.

• Don’t ask for her real name. There is absolutely no reason you need that information. If she ever chooses to share it, treat it with care.

• Don’t snoop around her space.

• Don’t linger before or after the appointment.

• Never share her location.

• Be mindful of GPS sharing with spouses or partners that could endanger her safety.

• Don’t show up early expecting to be seen.

• Don’t show up late expecting the session to still happen or be allotted the same time frame.

• Don’t overstay your time or force her to repeatedly ask you to leave.

• If something comes up and you can’t make it, give as much notice as possible and honor any cancellation fee if she has one.

• Tips aren’t required, but they’re always appreciated.

• Showing up short handed is NEVER appreciated.

A Final Reminder

Be kind. Don’t act like you’re too cool to be there. Because face it, you’re there. Don’t boast about how easily you can get sex. We don’t care. And we’re not judging you if you can’t. But we do notice when someone walks in with something to prove. We’re adults doing adult things. Leave the stereotypes and judgment at the door. Bring vulnerability, curiosity, and an open mind. You might be surprised how much more meaningful the experience becomes.